Always attend
By Rosie Russell
“Always attend”
They told us at High Royds, when we trained as nurses. Fresh and unprepared.
Whether it’s snowing or you’re at death’s door.
When you’re tired and feel there is nothing left to give.
Always attend.
We were younger then, in our twenties.
We didn’t have children at home.
Or families that need us in the way they do now.
Always attend.
None of us were ready for what has happened.
None of us were trained to deal with the enormity of it.
The sense of responsibility and fear.
Always attend.
Clapping on Thursdays at 8pm, unexpectedly moving, like praying.
Being given priority at supermarkets and early-morning shopping at 6am.
Rainbows, recognition, real gratitude. We’ve never had this before.
Always attend.
Adjusting to the new way of working: engaging with young people on Teams.
Supporting colleagues on the phone and by email.
Giving as much as we can, indefinitely.
Always attend.
Our children went to lockdown school, teachers provided stability and kindness
We could not have kept going without them
A daily dose of normality during huge uncertainty.
Always attend.
Forming a childcare bubble with our school friends
Seeing their familiar faces providing comfort, a new routine to get through each day
Trying to keep positive when asked questions about when will it be over?
Always attend.
Missing milestones and friendships
Not meeting our new baby nephew Leo
Worrying about frail family members
Always attend.
At the start of the first lockdown I felt so guilty for not being on the frontline
For doing my clinical work on Teams
When my general nursing friends are on Covid wards
Always attend.
Now it’s different. Now the toil of this crisis and the impact
On our mental health is better understood, I feel less guilty and more at peace somehow
Still unprepared. But now I understand I have something to give
Always attend.
(By Rosie Russell, Registered Mental Health Nurse. Highroyds was a Mental Health Hospital in Menston, Leeds, where I started my nurse training in 1995. This poem is dedicated to my nurse colleagues I trained with).
Written Word ‘Heart’ poems